A long, long time ago (2011), Joe Trainor and Jeremy Hebbel and Gayle Dillman of Gable Music Ventures got together and decided to create the biggest, baddest, most ambitious “pop-up” festival of local musicians Delaware has ever seen: The Wilmo Rock Circus. Over a dozen bands got together to showcase their music at the Wilmington Riverfront, and man oh man, was it great.
But…something was missing. Something wild. Something daring. Something…dorky.
So THIS year, we’re pleased to announce that your favorite acoustic dork-rock power duo has been added to the bill of the Second Annual WILMO ROCK CIRCUS! Hot Breakfast, along with over 20 other great bands, will take over World Cafe Live at the Queen on 5th and Market Streets in Wilmington, Delaware for one great night of music on Saturday, November 24th. Some of our favorite bands, including the Joe Trainor Trio, LoveBettie, New Sweden, the Keefs, Rod Kim & Vince Cirino, and many, many more, will be rocking the whole place, upstairs and down. This all-ages event is gonna be amazing.
Now, we’re not sure when we’re playing yet – this much rocking takes a LOT of planning, and there are still some details to be ironed out. But you can look for us in the downstairs balcony, where we’ll be rocking out some short sets (a live feed will be broadcast throughout the building). And you might just catch us joining another band or two during the night.
The rocking starts at 6:00 pm on Saturday, November 24th. Tickets are $15 in advance ($17 at the door), which is quite a bargain for this much entertainment. They’ll be available soon online at the Wilmo Rock Circus official site.
So come celebrate Thanksgiving with a little Hot Breakfast! – and a whole lot of ROCK!!!
We are just beside ourselves from how amazing this weekend was. Between the Joe Trainor Trio CD release party at World Cafe Live at the Queen on Friday night to the super-secret show in Arden last night… seriously, we’re having some serious post-gig depression here. Both shows were packed to the gills, the crowds were so enthusiastic and giving us TONS of energy back… it’s times like these that make us so, so, so grateful that we get to do what we do.
A billion thank-yous to everyone who supported all of the amazing events of this weekend, in body and spirit. We really felt the love and are so incredibly appreciative. I don’t have the vocabulary to describe how we’re feeling; but the words “extreme gratitude,” “humbled,” and “rocktastic” are coming to mind.
The incredible Joe del Tufo took photos from last night’s super-secret show in Arden, where we opened for Kate Miller-Heidke. (The super-secret show is no longer super-secret– though it was a private, invite-only concert and not open to the public at all.) Kate is currently touring with Ben Folds Five, and she also toured with Ben back when he was touring solo, too… and Kate and Ben Folds Five are playing a their big Philly show tonight at the Tower Theater– we’ll see you there!
As our Cool Little Brothers and Sisters know, we’re big, big fans of our friends the Joe Trainor Trio. We played some of our first gigs with the hard-rockin’ piano-based trio, and to this day we seldom pass up a chance to see ’em play live.
But it’s not just about music. Joe Trainor, Kevin Niemi, and Jeff Dement happen to be three of our favorite people. We dine with ’em, we play with ’em, we hang and talk and laugh with ’em, and sometimes we’re even fortunate enough to make music with ’em.
Because we like them so much, you might wonder if we’re overhyping their music. You can rest assured this is not the case. The Joe Trainor Trio BRINGS IT, yo. They rock and they rock hard, but they bring melody, great lyrics, and incredible musicianship to their rock. One listen and you’ll be hooked.
This is why we’re proud to be opening for their CD release party on Friday, October 5th at World Cafe Live at the Queen on 5th and Market Street, Wilmington, DE, at 8:00. This’ll be your first chance to hear the new JT3 album, Twelve Stories, in its entirety and purchase your copy.
But before that happens – HOT BREAKFAST! will be rocking the house!! (Hey, it ain’t all about Trainor. I mean, they’re good and all, but c’mon.) We love playing at the Queen (we’re there a lot this fall!), and we can’t wait to melt some faces before Joe and the boys take the stage.
So be sure to be there by 8:00 to hear Hot Breakfast! Actually, we really recommend getting there early – say, 7:00 – and ordering some food. Particularly the eggplant fries, because Holy Cow, the eggplant fries.
Reservations are strongly recommended for this show. You can order your tickets online by clicking here, or you can call the Queen at (302) 994-1400.
The Joe Trainor Trio and Hot Breakfast! – melting faces together since…well…for quite a while now.
Love n’ ice cream sandwiches,
The Suburban Legend (AKA Matt) and Ji11
Hot Breakfast! spends an awful lot of time hanging out up north…that is, if Wilmington and Philadelphia count as “north” to you. Sometimes we venture as far south as Bear, but that’s about it. We admit it: we’ve been missing out.
We plan to remedy that with two full sets at The Young Bean, a funky little coffeehouse in Clayton, Delaware, south of Middletown but north of Dover. And we cannot wait.
Why? Well, because we’re really excited to go somewhere new, for one. The Young Bean asked us to play and we’re thrilled they did – they’ve got a great tradition of live music, and we look forward to melting some new faces. We go on at 6:30 on Friday, September 14 and play through 9:00. No cover!
But mostly, we’re going because of the menu. Here, see for yourself. We’ll wait.
Back? Great. HOW GOOD DOES THAT LOOK? The coffees? The foods? Paninis? Hot chocolates? Bacon Cake? Once again…freakin’ Bacon Cake?
So please come on down (or up!) to The Young Bean on September 14. We’ll be the dork-rock power duo scarfing down bacon cakes in-between songs.
World Cafe Live once billed us “Acoustic Theatrical Rock.” While we prefer our usual “dork-rock” descriptor, we can’t deny that we have a penchant for, shall we say, theatricalrocktasticness. So being the house band for a theater group seemed like the perfect opportunity for us.
I’ve said this in a previous blog post (by paraphrasing the theater group’s website), but I’ll say it again:
Philadelphia Dramatists Center; purveyors of fine Philadelphia theater since… well… a while ago.
Philadelphia is known for having a great underground theater scene, and one of the driving forces is Philly’s Primary Stages. PPS is a “down and dirty script-in-hand staged reading series of new 10 minute plays,” where audience members are encouraged to give feedback to the playwrights, actors, and directors. Audience members are even bribed with beer, wine, sodee pop, bottled water, assorted chips, dips, vienna sausages and puddin’ packs. Once in a while a bottle of something and a shot glass, or 2, show up as well.
Being a House Band for a night of 10-minute plays means that we play for 30-ish minutes before the show and for about 10-15 minutes during intermission, too… but we also perform hand-picked segue music between plays. Matt and I come from a pretty strong theater background ourselves, so we love getting to split our time between being on stage and back-stage.
In June 2011, Hot Breakfast! filled in for PPS’ usual house band who had a conflict of some kind. The folks at Philly’s Primary Stages liked what we did so much that they’ve asked us to be their permanent house band.
This month’s shows are happening on August 7th and 8th. We play a 30-40 minute set beginning at 7:30pm, and then 15-ish minute set at intermission. We also play the outtro music from each play– songs that are hand-picked by the directors.
There are different plays each night, so if you’re feelin’ theatery, you could come both nights and see a ton of amazing stuff. I can’t promise we won’t repeat any songs, however. 🙂
If you’ve been to Philly’s Primary Stages before, they’re at a new location now– it’s bigger!
WHERE: New Location! Community Education Center: 3500 Lancaster Ave. (vaguely sorta by 30th St. Station) Philadelphia, PA 19104-4916 WHEN: August 7th and 8th. Doors open at 7ish, HB! plays at 7:30, the plays start at 8pm. Different plays both nights! CASH: Five bucks!
For a measly five bucks ($5!), you get a night of terrific theater, food, beverages, and music. What better way to spend a mid-week night?
You might remember that on a magical evening in April, musical history was made at Extreme Pizza in downtown Wilmington. Todd Chappelle and Hot Breakfast! joined forces and created a musical mushroom cloud of epic face-melting holycrapitude that is still raining its fiery ash upon our fair city.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are hoping to recapture some of that magic on the night of Friday, July 27th. In strict compliance with DNREC’s directive, we are having this concert in Bellefonte, because the city of Wilmington can’t afford any more musical eruptions. We understand, and are happy to do our part.
If you missed the Extreme Pizza show, then you might be curious about this Todd Chappelle character. We’re happy to fill you in. Todd is a singer/songwriter/comedian from Chadds Ford, PA. His songs are very funny– comedy is his main bag. But here’s the thing: So many guitar-playing comics are either great guitar players with crappy jokes, or good comedians who can’t play their dang instrument… either way, tragic. Not Todd. Todd plays the crap out of his axe, has a fabulous voice, and really funny material. Even after a bunch of listens (yep, we’ve got all his CDs!), they’re still hilarious. He also works almost entirely clean, so if you bring your parents to the show you won’t be crawling underneath the table in embarrassment. We can’t say enough great things about Todd– we have a musical crush on him pretty hard-core.
WHEN: Friday, July 27th, 2012, 7-9pm, or until they ask us to stop playing. We’ll be trading off sets loosey-goosey. WHERE: Bellefonte Cafe: 804 Brandywine Blvd, Wilmington, DE 19809 COVER CHARGE: No cover charge! But you should probably eat or drink something (You’re too skinny! Just look at you wasting away!) because that’s the good thing to do (we recommend the black bean soup and the guacamole). The musicians get paid via tips and merch sales, so we’d naturally appreciate a little somethin’-somethin’ in the ol’ tip jar. If cash is tight though, don’t stay home. Order some coffee and give us a high-five instead. PARKING: Street only. FOOD:: They’ve got dinner, snacks, coffee, and adult beverages. We highly recommend the black-bean soup and the guacamole. Service is slow because everything is made to order from scratch by one woman: Donna. So relax, ok?
Mojo 13’s little brother on Main Street in Newark, DE is called Mojo Main, and it’s where the old East End used to be. It has everything you liked about The East End, but nothing you didn’t… and much better food. This pleases me greatly.
They host a Comedy Night there every so often, and after seeing us ROCK at The Kennett Flash, Mr. Matthew Morgan (the host) asked us if we wanted to play a set at their event. We said “Oh, mais oui!” or something similarly METAL.
The night will be a combination of stand-up comedians and musicians trading off sets. We hope we go on late so we appear funnier as the audience gets mo’ drunker.
DEETS: WHEN: Thursday, July 12 2012. The evening begins at 7pm, though I’m not sure what time we go on. Have a seat! WHERE: Mojo Main. 270 East Main St, Newark, DE 19711 COVER: $5 if you’re over 21; $10 if you’re under 21. PARKING: Private lot. Park in it. FOOD: They have food. I don’t know what kind. I’m sure they have a menu, though.
We are hoping people don’t throw rotten vegetables at us. If they do, we will throw angry badgers at them. SO THERE.
I have a confession to make. I’ve lived in Delaware since 1999 and I have never been to the Rockwood Ice Cream Festival. I had friends and cow-orkers who went absolutely mental for the Ice Cream Festival every year, and every year it rolled around something came up and I didn’t attend.
And then they canceled it.
And my opportunity to take a shuttle bus to a place full of screaming kids and flatulating lactose intolerant adults was gone.
UNTIL NOW.
It’s 2012, and they figure this is the year to have a final creamy hurrah before the world ends. And thanks to the spiffy people at Gable Music Ventures, there will be a bunch of great live bands playing all day on the main stage, as well as emerging artists on the smaller stage too. We are especially excited to share a bill with Angela Sheik and New Sweden. (We’re not just saying that to kiss ass. We really like these people and they’re really wonderful musicians.)
I’m also excited to be stuffing my face full of Paciugo Gelato (and Lactaid pills) because WOOOOT I love that stuff… I got hooked on Paciugo while I was in DC last month.
OK, so here’s the deal. There will be a bunch of bands playing all day, each taking mostly 30-minute sets. We’re told that we’re going to be keeping to a really strict schedule, and since we’re on earlier in the day the chances are much better of them running on time when we’re playing. In other words, don’t be late, yo.
DEETS: WHEN: We play on Sunday, July 8th from 12 Noon to 12:30pm. WHERE: Old Fashioned Ice Cream Festival at Rockwood Park.
Details about COVER, PARKING, and FOOD can be found on the event’s website, which is here: The Old Fashioned Ice Cream Festival
Last month, we christened the brandy-new stage at 1984 as we opened for a Pat Benatar tribute band. And on July 7th, we’re opening for a band that plays the songs of The Minutemen. The name of this tribute band: D-not-D, which also happens to be the acronym for The Minutemen’s killer double-album Double Nickels on the Dime, which D-not-D will cover in its entirety that night.
HOW FREAKIN’ COOL IS THAT?
We think it’s really cool! Super-cool! WAY COOL!
We are really excited that they asked us to open for them. We hope you’ll come out to see us, but to also check these guys out. They’re nuts. D Not D includes Greg Merk on schpiel (that’s vocals, yo), Keith Crawford on skins (drums…duh), Joe Testa on twang (geeetar), and Pete Ludwig on thud staff (bass!). Matt knows these guys, and has even been in a few bands with Joe Testa before. Ji11 has also shared a stage with Testa a buncha times when we all did our live performances of The Wall. Anyway, Joe plays like a motherfucker, and we’re fans of whatever project he’s working on. So come out and see it.
DEETS: WHEN: Saturday, July 7 2012. We don’t know what time it’s all goin’ down yet, but I imagine we’ll go on sometime between 8:30 and 9:30We start at 10pm, and we’ll play for about 30-45 minutes. WHERE: 1984. 2511 W. 4th St., Wilmington, DE 19805. (between Union & Greenhill) WHAT: Hot Breakfast! (Delaware’s premier acoustic dork-rock power duo) opening up for D-not-D (a Minutemen tribute band, playing Double Nickels on the Dime in its entirety!) COVER: Not sure. It was $5 the last time, so it’ll be something like that. Don’t be mad if it’s $7. PARKING: They have parking in their little lot there, but there aren’t a zillion spots. They also have street parking. Handle it; you’re smart. FOOD: They only have beer/cider there and candy there; no kitchen. (What more do you need?) However, it’s totally cool (and even encouraged) for you to order Chinese takeout/delivery from the place next door (they’re good) or have a pizza delivered. Go nuts!
One of the nicest things about having a home studio is that we can really take our time with a recording since we’re not freaking out about the spendy engineer1. We can take our time, we can record at 3am if we want… whatever.
Of course, one of the bad things about having a home studio is that we are constantly dicking around with mixes, re-recording things, coming up with alternate versions of songs, adding floor-stomps or whatever, so the recording never feels like it’ll ever be finished. We have no deadline since the studio time is essentially free.
The only thing really pushing us to finish the CD is our desire to keep Brian and the rest of our Cool Little Brothers2 happy.
Anyway, this time around, we’ll be recording our new songs Maybe You Saw It Too, It Only Takes Two to Rock, and re-recording Defender. Speaking if Defender, here’s a video of us singing it in Kyle Cassidy’s living room, just after we put our clothes on.
Stay tuned for more updates from the studio. Our Twitter feed is probably the best place to look, because hey, instant gratification. (We’re also on instagram (we’re “hotbreakfast”), but we don’t use it all that much.)
Catch ya soon.
Your pal,
Ji11
————— 1 The Spendy Engineer is totally gonna be the name of our new restaurant. 2 For those of you new to Hot Breakfast!, “Cool Little Brothers” is the name of our fan club. Not everyone can be a member. There are initiations.
Some folks think of Hot Breakfast! as an 80s cover band. That isn’t entirely accurate; we’ve got plenty of originals and covers from other decades, too. But sometimes we’re willing to play the role of 80s cover band when it makes sense to do so… like on May 19th, for example.
On May 19th, we’ll be opening for Fat Benatar, which is a freakin’ outstanding Pat Benatar tribute band from Virginia. Sometimes people ask us why we don’t cover any Pat Benatar tunes, and honestly, it’s because Jill can’t sing ’em… Pat Benatar is amazing and Jill simply isn’t built for it. But HOLY CRAP, the singer from Fat Benatar most certainly is… so if you’re in the mood for to hear a chick with some killer pipes (and a sweet rack, we’re not gonna lie), May 19th is your night.
We’ll be playing at our new favorite hangout, 1984. 1984 is a bar + arcade (a barcade, if you will) with 80s trivia on Thursday nights1, tons of vintage arcade games and sweet delicious pinball, and about a zillion beers and ciders for the draankin’. Are you a proud dork? Then you’ll feel very welcome there. Woot!
DEETS: WHEN: Saturday, May 19th 2012, 10pm WHERE: 1984. 2511 W. 4th St., Wilmington, DE 19805. (between Union & Greenhill) WHAT: Hot Breakfast! (Delaware’s premier acoustic dork-rock power duo) opening up for Fat Benatar (Virginia’s premier Pat Benatar tribute band) COVER: $5. Cheap! PARKING: They have parking in their little lot there, but there aren’t a zillion spots. You’ll figure it out; you’re a grown-up. FOOD: They only have beer/cider there; no kitchen. However, it’s totally cool (and even encouraged) for you to order Chinese takeout/delivery from the place next door (they’re good) or have a pizza delivered. Go nuts!
See you there!
Your pal,
Ji11
———– 1 We won last week, yes we did. Our team name: The Keytards. Keepin’ it classy, we are!
OK, look. I know many of our fans are in their 30s and 40s, but this whole “Waaaah, you guys are playing at 10pm and that’s really late” whiny junk has got to stop.
And this added whiny junk of “Waaaah, you guys are Delaware’s premier acoustic dork-rock power duo, so I don’t wanna come all the way to Philadelphia because that would betray my home and native land, plus it’s faaaaaaar” is also uncool.
Dudes, Philly is 25 minutes away. You’ve driven to Newark from Wilmington (also 25 minutes) while baked out of your skull to get some Chinese takeout from No. 1’s at midnight, so quit yer bellyachin’. “Results, not excuses!” That’s what my high school band director used to say.
Son, like us, you were put on this earth for one thing only: TO ROCK. Some people provide the rocking– that’s us. Some people are there to absorb the rocking– that’s you. Together, WE ROCK SYNERGISTICALLY. Got that? We need you to rock! You help complete the circle of rocking, don’t you understand?
Frequently Asked Questions:
IS ROCKING APPROPRIATE AT ANY TIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT?YES IT IS. ARE YOU TOO OLD TO ROCK?NO YOU ARE NOT. IS PHILLY TOO FAR AWAY?NO IT IS NOT. IS SEEING HOT BREAKFAST RIGHT FOR ME? YOUR DOCTOR SAYS YES. MUST YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS?IT IS NECESSARY TO SHOW OUR SERIOUSNESS.
So with that out of the way, let us tell you about our show coming up in Philly at The Head House on May 3rd!
DEETS: WHEN: Thursday, May 3rd, 2012. Music starts at 8pm; we play at 10pm. WHERE: The Head House. 122 Lombard Street in the South Street/Olde City section of Philadelphia. WHAT: Hot Breakfast! plus a bunch of other bands spanning multiple genres. COVER: $7. Cheap! PARKING: There’s street parking, and there’s a garage at 215 Lombard. So easy, it’s ridiculous. FOOD: American and Japanese food along with craft beer and a full bar with drink specials. NOMZ!
So, now you know. And knowing is half the battle. G.I. Jooooooooooe
That’s right, our Cool Little Brothers and Sisters. Your favorite acoustic dork-rock duo will be joining forces with Delaware’s funniest folk singer, Todd Chappelle, for one night of hilarirock. (That’s a word, right? We’re calling it a word.) Seriously, we are really excited to play with Todd Chappelle, one of our favorite artists to come from Delaware (take THAT, Cisco Houston!). You’ve certainly heard his opus “I’m From Delaware,” Todd’s ode to Hot Breakfast!* So please come on out to Extreme Pizza on Friday, April 27th for a great night.
After that, we’re gonna melt some faces in Philly as we play The Head House on Thursday, May 3rd. We go on at 10:00 (c’mon, it’s not that late) as we share the bill with The One Sun Lion Ra, Ashley J, Kristin Lucile, and Malik. Throw us in the mix and that’s about 17 different musical styles…something for everyone. Don’t miss it.
In recording news…we are ALMOST DONE, we swear. The CD is sounding great…stay tuned!
Extremely yours, Suburban Legend
* Um…we have been advised that Todd’s song, which can be heard here, is NOT actually about Hot Breakfast. At least…that’s the official story.
We’ve been told that once you hit 40 you start ordering chicken croquettes with Metamucil gravy off HoJo’s early-bird menu and then you’re in bed by 9:30pm after an episode of Matlock.
NOT US, BABY.
We’re so hardcore that we’re playing three (THREE!) shows in one day for you, just three short weeks after Matt had his gall bladder out.
THAT’S HARD-FREAKIN’-CORE.
Philadelphia Dramatists Center; purveyors of fine Philadelphia theater since… well… a while ago.
So lemme tell you about these shows!
SHOW THE FIRST:
We’ve been asked to be the first band ever to grace LOMA Coffee’s new music/performance space, so we’re kicking off an entire day of music. This means that we’re playing an early-morning show– that’s 8am. I wonder how bleary-eyed bankers will react to hearing Crazy Train as they make their way to the coffee counter for their first jolt of the day? One way to find out.
Jill would like to thank MAC Cosmetics in advance for creating foundation powerful enough to cover up her under-eye circles, since she is normally deep in full-on REM sleep at 8am.
WHERE: LOMA Coffee, 239 N. Market St. Wilmington, DE 19801. WHEN: 8:00am – 8:45am. (What the hell are we thinking?) HOW MUCH: No cover. Just grab a coffee. (Did you ever notice that Canadians say “a coffee” and Americans say “some coffee” or “a cup of coffee?” Discuss.)
SHOW THE SECOND:
Since 2011, we’ve been the house band for Philly’s Primary Stages, which is a quarterly two-night theater event where playwrights see their newly-penned short works performed at the Shubin Theater. It’s super-cool because over the course of two evenings, about 16 plays are staged with script in hand, and Hot Breakfast! gets to provide the interstitial music, as well as playing a fun half-hour set to a terrific crowd each night. We LOVE this gig!
As a thank you to Denise Shubin who owns the Shubin Theater, Philly’s Primary Stages is holding a fund raiser which showcases the best short plays of the last seven or so years of PPS. Because it’s a “best of” night, the actors will be off-book, and the shows will be spit-shined to a gleaming polish. There are two shows on the night of the 13th, and each performance features the same seven plays. And because it’s a fund-raiser, tickets are $20.
As usual, there will likely be beer, wine, and perhaps a bottle or two of something passed around (heh), as well as chips, snax, vienna sausages (it’s a Todd thing) and puddin’ packs. (We have “Jill gets 2 pudding packs” in our rider for this show, we shit you not. If Jill doesn’t get pudding, she trashes the place like fuckin’ Air Supply.)
WHERE: The Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St. (that’s 4th and Bainbridge), Philadelphia, PA 19147 WHEN: We start at 7pm sharp! The plays start at 7:30. HOW MUCH: It’s a fund raiser for the theater, so tickets are $20 and well worth it. Get yer tickets here: http://is.gd/Shubin_Tix MORE DETAILS:http://www.facebook.com/events/255436124551441/
SHOW THE THIRD:
Same exact gig as the previous one, except this show starts at 10pm and may feature slightly more awesomeness from the house band. (Awesomeness subject to availability; house band awesomeness may be substituted for yawning and crankypants at the discretion of the management.)
WHERE: The Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St. (that’s 4th and Bainbridge), Philadelphia, PA 19147 WHEN: We start at 10pm sharp! The plays start at 10:30. HOW MUCH: It’s a fund raiser for the theater, so tickets are $20 and well worth it. Get yer tickets here: http://is.gd/Shubin_Tix There will likely be beer, wine, and perhaps a bottle or two of something passed around (heh), as well as chips, snax, vienna sausages (it’s a Todd thing) and puddin’ packs. (We have “Jill gets 2 pudding packs” in our rider for this show, we shit you not. If Jill doesn’t get pudding, she trashes the place like fuckin’ Air Supply.) MORE DETAILS:http://www.facebook.com/events/255436124551441/
All of this is happening on Friday the 13th. What could go wrong?
NOTHING; for the power of ROCK protects us.
We are Delaware’s premier acoustic dork-rock power duo, by cracky!
We have songs about having a hole in your pants, about UFOs + love, about sheepishly and nerdily asking someone on a date, and we do a douchey cover of Crazy Train and a sweeeeet cover of Kiss Off
Jill’s .sig back in the USENET days was about professing her love for John Flansburgh
One of the first conversations Jill ever had with Matt was about programming TI-99/4As
We’ve played at World Cafe Live before. They like us there.
Most compelling reason: We’re cheap!
So Mr. Coulton, what’s it gonna take? I will bake you a batch of my world-famous maple-bacon cookies! I will eat an entire box of Cinnamon Life in one sitting! (Oh wait, I’ve done that already today.) I will get a dumb tattoo! I will donate a metric assload of money to a charity of choice! I will stop ending every sentence with an exclamation point!
Please? Pretty please? With sugar on top? And with a Grade B maple syrup drizzle and crumbled bacon? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE?
OH SWEET BABY WEDGE ANTILLES, I WILL NEVER ASK FOR ANYTHING ELSE EVER AGAIN FOR MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFETIME EVER EVER EVER!
PLEEEEEEEZE?
ALL CAPS!
ALL CAPS!
DILUTE! DILUTE! OK!
———————
Hmmmm. Or maybe we should just send his booking agent an email with a link to our electronic press kit. We must consult our management.
