Category: Ass-kicking Gigs

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Ass-kicking Gigs Rocking Uncategorized

GIG: April 9th, Bellefonte Cafe

DATELINE: APRIL 9TH, 2011.
The time is 7:00pm. You’ve just arrived to the cozy Bellefonte Cafe in Wilmington, DE and you’re looking over the menu. You’ve heard the guacamole is amazing, though you also heard that the black bean soup is stupendous. You can’t decide. Maybe you can convince the other people you’re with to split something with you. You’re also debating whether or not to get coffee… it’s after 5pm and you don’t want the caffeine to keep you up, but dude, it’s also a Saturday night, and what are you, like 93 years old? As you peruse the rest of the menu, suddenly BLAMMO! Your entire face explodes in one shot, just like that.

What the hell happened? HOT BREAKFAST! happened, baby. That’s what.

Matt and Jill took the stage, and within 47 seconds your face was rocked the hell off, in the blink of an eye. In fact, it was rocked off SO HARD that it exploded into 10,000,000 little pieces. CSI: Wilmington, Hot Breakfast! Unit was called in to begin filming.

Thanks to this unfortunate event, you (or what’s left of you) are now a famous TV star. Sadly, because you’re dead though, you are unable to sign an acting talent waiver. But hey– your friends signed it on your behalf, making sure to re-word the legalese so that all fees due for your services go directly to them.

I’d call your friends opportunistic assholes, but that would be a mean thing to say… because after all, they came to see our show… and for that, we thank them.

Your pal,

Jill (a.k.a. “Breakfast”)

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Ass-kicking Gigs Awesome-sauce Rocking Uncategorized

GIG: 2/3 at Kelly’s Logan House: 9:30pm

Hey, guess what:

We were just invited to play at Kelly’s Logan House on Thursday night at 9:30pm [NOTE: This is a new time. We were originally slated for 10pm; it’s now 9:30.]. “It’s about time,” you’re probably thinking. “Hot Breakfast! is a gorram1 Delaware institution! What’s taken Kelly’s so long to book the Acoustic Dork Rock Duo of Awesomeness?” Just between us birdies, I think the folks at Kelly’s were hesitant to book us because their fire suppression systems weren’t quite able to handle the level of face-melting ROCK we bring to the table. We understand… happens all the time really.

So yeah! Kelly’s Logan House has dedicated Thursday nights to local, original music, which is pretty spectacular if you ask us. While Hot Breakfast! is probably best known for reinterpreting others’ music, we have a pretty impressive catalog of Matt-tastic tunes from which to draw. So have a beverage and stretch your breakfasty boundaries folks, and take a listen to what your pals Matt and Jill have to share with you. Would we steer you wrong?

Oh, and before you can complain, here’s our Pre-emptive Anti-Complain-o-Tron:

  • But what about the roads? The roads will be fine by then, yo, so quit yer whining.
  • You go on at 9:30pm? That’s so late! Ninja, please. No, it’s not too late. You’d be up reading Fark (or Foobies) at that hour anyway, so it’s not like you’d be sleeping. Come hang with us!
  • But what if it’s not awesome? My dear, we are Hot Breakfast! We will not let you down.

See you Thursday!

Your pal,

Jill

1 Yes, that was a Firefly reference.

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Ass-kicking Gigs Rocking Uncategorized World Domination

Gig: Jan. 7th @ 9PM – JB McGinnes

I heard through the grapevine that JB McGinnes in sunny New Castle, DE has a reputation for being a metal club. So why might they be courting HOT BREAKFAST! to grace their stage?

BECAUSE WE ARE EFFING METAL.

Lesser bands need to prove their metalosity with obvious things like distortion, black leather, sleeves of tattoos and pigeon sacrifice– but not us. We’ve got a freakin’ life to lead here Chachi — a life of ROCK — and all we need are Matt’s massive guns and Jill’s teeth-baring rock scowl (See Figure A, below) and whaddaya know: Yngwie Malmsteen is quivvering like a scared, wet chihuahua.

FIG. A

So yeah, it’s true. We’re playing at JB McGinnes in New Castle, DE on Friday, January 7th at 9pm. We really actually start playing at 9; not “rock and roll 9” which often means “sometime around 10:30.” So if you don’t want to miss the hurricane-esque rocking, then you’d best be on time, my friend.

In fact, what the hell… show up early. Camp out for fucksake. This way you will be guaranteed to be there when we finally achieve WORLD DOMINATION. It will happen, my friends. Oh yes… and our highly-paid statisticians and Reagan-approved astrologers tell us it is occurring that weekend. You don’t want to miss being part of history, do you? NO YOU DO NOT.

Three other bands will be closing for us: The Joe Trainor Trio, The Miles, and Villains Like You. We would like to commend these bands for having the courage to follow us. We admire chutzpah.

Your pal,

Jill

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Ass-kicking Gigs Cool Little Brothers Rocking Uncategorized

Our Christmas gift to you…

The HBHL1 has been ringing off the hook (three calls!!1!) since we played at Between Books on Friday. Our Cool Little Brothers (a.k.a. our die-hard fans) can’t stop telling us how our concert that night changed their lives. We know. It changed our lives, too.

Some fans have decided to start sporting jaunty caps like Matt’s, while others have vowed to take up interpretive dance like Jill. Still others have started speaking in accents native to the British Isles.. though we’re not exactly sure what that has to do with anything. Anyway, we’re trying to say that we feel your love, CLBs, yes we do. And we want to thank you in one of the only ways we know how.

Here is a list of the ways that HOT BREAKFAST! knows how to say Thank You:

  • send a thoughtful Thank You card through the US Mail
  • send you a whimsical arrangement of preservative-dipp’d fruits, specially cut and assembled to look like cheerful flowers of gratitude
  • “Danke! Das ist mein Badezimmer auf dem Tisch!”
  • clean your gutters
  • finally hem your dress pants
  • mail you an Applebee’s gift card
  • [redacted]
  • give you a free MP3 of “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” from our show Friday night

Yes, our formatting gave it away: The most thoughtful (and economical) gift we can give to you, the rabid fans who would totally take a hot frying pan to the face for us, is a free (FREE!) recording of our performance of Do They Know It’s Christmas? so you all can re-live that moment over and over again.

Go ahead. Download it. Load it up on your preferred music-playing device and put on your noise-canceling headphones. Pour yourself a nice plastic cup of boxed Riunite and relax… close your eyes, and suddenly it’s exactly like you’re there at the concert at Between Books.2 And when you put the song on constant repeat, you can relive that magical four minutes and forty seconds over and over, like your own personal Groundhog Day.

It is true. We really do love you.

Here it is! Enjoy!

Hot Breakfast! at Between Books on 12-10-10 – Do They Know It’s Christmas?

Your pal,

Jill

—–
1 Hot Breakfast Hot Line
2 And if you use your mind’s eye very adeptly, you can even sneak to the other side of the store to secretly leaf through their copy of that Cthulhu hentai mag. Nobody will even see you.

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Ass-kicking Gigs Rocking Uncategorized

GIGS: 1/21 and 1/22. Bring a full-face helmet

You have been warned:

Bring a full-face helmet to The New Candlelight Theater in Arden, Delaware for our two gigs on January 21 and 22nd, 2011. We are going to rock SO FREAKIN’ HARD that night that your brains are going to explode like those unfortunate Australian chickens living next to the 7 Hz bell factory.

The night has a lot in store for you hungry people. We, the soon to be world dominating HOT BREAKFAST!, will be opening for the Joe Trainor Trio… and later, we will CROSS THE EFFING STREAMS to present Abbey Road in its entirety. Can you STAND it? No, no you cannot.

This is all goin’ down at The New Candlelight Theater in Arden, DE. The venue doors open at 7:30, and Hot Breakfast! goes on promptly at 8pm. So please don’t be late or you might not get your recommended daily allowance of awesomesauce.

You can purchase tickets ahead of time here, or you can get them at the door. Tickets are $20 regardless of where/when you buy them.

FYI: Abbey Road is an album by some band called “The Beatles.” Have you heard of them? We hear they’ve gotten pretty popular since their songs are on iTunes now. I wish them the best at their little attempt at making music. I heard one of their songs once and it only had three chords in it. Really? Three chords? Well, at least it’s not Electric Avenue, because that only has one chord.

I feel like I’m getting off track here.

Anyway, come to the gig. One of the members of Hot Breakfast! will be wearing something skimpy. And I will give you a hint: Matt has a pretty fine butt.

Your pal,

Jill

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Ass-kicking Gigs Rocking Uncategorized

GIG: 12/10. Wanna watch our three-way?

On Friday December 10th, HOT BREAKFAST will be spending the evening with Joe Trainor in a sexy musical three-way.
Well, it’s more like Joe will be doing his own thing while Matt and I will be, like, makin’ our own music together… so it might be a little awkward, but I know you’re up for experimenting a bit.

Anyway, the show starts at 7pm, and we’ll be at Between Books in Claymont, which is on the corner of Philly Pike and Harvey Road (across the street from the Wawa, by the Rite Aid). You might not think of Between Books as a place to listen to music, but we’re here to expand your mind a bit; and trust us, it’s pretty neat. Come on over early, dig through the stacks, buy a gift for yourself or someone else, say hi to Greg, eat some snacks, and most importantly: watch us get it on.

Come to the show. You might learn some new moves.

Love,

Jill

ps: Between Books is located at 2703 Philadelphia Pike Claymont, Delaware 19703. Phone: (302)798-3378

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Ass-kicking Gigs Cool Little Brothers Rocking Uncategorized World Domination

Looking for your face?

Where’s your face?

If you were at The Tin Angel show last night, it was ROCKED THE HELL OFF, that’s where! You can pick it up (along with any socks that may have been rocked off) at The Mid-Atlantic Regional Office of the Hot Breakfast Secret Lair where charts and graphs indicate our World Domination should be happening pretty much any time now. We’ve ramped up coverage in our call center to make sure we don’t miss the call from Rolling Stone.

What shall we do with the unclaimed faces (earlye in the mornin’)?
Stay tuned. Our lawyers are workin’ on it.

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Ass-kicking Gigs Uncategorized

Gig: 7/30/10 – Tin Angel

Hot Breakfast is headlining at The Tin Angel in Philadelphia on July 30th. The show starts at 7pm. We rigged it that way so you can’t complain that it’s too late (no it’s not, grandma!) and you have to get up for work the next day (no you don’t, liar!) and Philadelphia sucks (no it doesn’t, fartface!), and blah blah blah. Just take your dang waaahmbulance and drive on up there. Sheesh.

The Tin Angel is located at 20 South 2nd Street, in Philly.

Once again, The Joe Trainor Trio is closing for us that evening. We like to give them as many gigs as we can, you know, to help build their road muscle.

That’s a term we pros use here in the Music Business.

Love,
Jill

 

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Ass-kicking Gigs Awesome-sauce Awesoming Uncategorized World Domination

Our Awesome Streak Continues

photo by Nicole Ferrara

We asked our friends and family members a totally random sampling of audience members what they thought, and they unanimously agreed that Hot Breakfast was the opposite of suck at the JDRF Benefit on Saturday night.

If you ask us, we think we FREAKIN’ RULED.  I mean, does that photo up there look like anything other than RULING?  No.  No, it does not.

Oh yeah, the Joe Trainor Trio was pretty good too and stuff.

 

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Ass-kicking Gigs Uncategorized

Gig: 9/19/09 – JDRF Benefit Concert

We’re doing a benefit concert for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation on September 19, 2009 at the Baby Grand in Wilmington, Delaware.

We have a very special guest, The Joe Trainor Trio, closing for us that night. They’re pretty good; you should totally check them out. (Yes, yes, I know that most headlining bands have to say that about their supporting act, but really, I mean it. They’re totally pretty good.)

Anyway, tickets are $15 and all proceeds benefit the charity. Hot Breakfast has generously omitted the high-ticket items from the rider for this gig, so you know it’s an important cause. You can buy tickets by contacting The Grand Opera House box office.

–Jill

 

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Ass-kicking Gigs Uncategorized

Gig: 3/14/09 – Casarino Royale

So, in addition to being one-half of the world-dominating band HOT BREAKFAST, Matt also writes plays.

He writes so many plays that City Theater in Wilmington, Delaware is doing a whole night of his plays just so he can get all the play business out of his system and concentrate on the band. It’s very nice of them to help Matt out like that. They’re calling the night of plays “Casarino Royale,” which is a play on Matt’s last name and it kinda sounds like that James Bond movie a little bit if you think about it for a while. I don’t know if it was intentional, but I totally got the joke.

Anyway, to get people to come see Matt’s plays, HOT BREAKFAST will be playing on the night of March 14th as the opening act. You can expect to hear your favorite tunes done even better than the people who originally recorded them.

Sometimes we realize that we’re playing them SO much better than the original artist did that we intentionally make it suck a little bit just in case word gets back to the artist that we are so much better. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want Bonnie Tyler mad at me; that chick is nizzity-NUTS hanging out in an all-boys school with doves and really drafty windows that don’t close and guys dancing around in loincloths. What the hell kind of school does she run, anyway?

If you’d like to buy tickets, head on over to the City Theater website. Don’t forget that we’re only going to be playing on 3/14. You’ll have to buy the VIP tickets to get access to our portion of the night.

That’s right. VIP, baby.

–Jill