Thank you for agreeing to play the part of “Cheryl” in our song “Open Mic Night.”
Cheryl is the queen of the open mic night. (An open mic is like a karaoke night, except you provide all the music yourself.) Cheryl is middle-aged, Cheryl is pretty, and Cheryl is moderately talented. She truly believes she is royalty.
(We have a running joke that nobody ever remembers Matt’s name or pays any attention to him, and Cheryl is no exception. You should act as if Matt is barely on your radar; he’s a nuisance.)
The band sings the bridge of the song that goes like this:
Here come the dreamers as they sign up for their spots
Some are slow like lemurs while some run to fill their slots
Practicing their musics / while they tune up their acoustics
We dare to show the world just what we’ve got … Ready or not!
MATT: Oh, no!
MATT: It’s Cheryl.
JILL: Cheryl? Oh, no! She’s the best open mic singer in the whole town!
MATT: I know!
JILL: She didn’t see me, did she?
MATT: No, you’re good.
JILL: Whew! Cause I would just die if she–
MATT: –Oh, no, she totally saw you.
JILL: Oh no!
CHERYL: Hi, Jill. (To Matt) Hi…Jill’s Friend.
JILL: Cheryl, you’re not singing tonight, are you?
CHERYL: I wasn’t going to, so I didn’t prepare anything. (MATT & JILL sigh in relief.) But then I said to myself, “Cheryl, you don’t need to prepare, you’ve done this a hundred times.” So I’ll just whip something out last minute. Are you singing tonight?
JILL: Well…I was gonna, but…
CHERYL: You are? Oh my god, that is so brave of you! When do you go on?
CHERYL: That is such a great spot! I’m going on fourth.
JILL: Oh, no!
CHERYL: I’m sure you’re gonna be great. I am so going to be rooting for you! Good luck tonight. Just remember…don’t get nervous. That’s a sure way to mess up.
CHERYL: I’m gonna go back to my seat. Bye, Jill!
MATT: Bye, Cheryl!
CHERYL: (She gives Matt a weak smile and nod as she exits; he is not worth her time. The joke is that Matt is invisible and nobody ever remembers his name.)
JILL: What am I going to do? Nobody’s going to listen to my song if Cheryl’s going on right before me. She’s the best singer in town and she’s so pretty!
MATT: I know, right?
JILL: Dude. Really?
MATT: Uh…(starts playing music again.)
THAT’S IT! YOU’RE DONE! THANK YOU!