OK, look. I know many of our fans are in their 30s and 40s, but this whole “Waaaah, you guys are playing at 10pm and that’s really late” whiny junk has got to stop.
And this added whiny junk of “Waaaah, you guys are Delaware’s premier acoustic dork-rock power duo, so I don’t wanna come all the way to Philadelphia because that would betray my home and native land, plus it’s faaaaaaar” is also uncool.
Dudes, Philly is 25 minutes away. You’ve driven to Newark from Wilmington (also 25 minutes) while baked out of your skull to get some Chinese takeout from No. 1’s at midnight, so quit yer bellyachin’. “Results, not excuses!” That’s what my high school band director used to say.
Son, like us, you were put on this earth for one thing only: TO ROCK. Some people provide the rocking– that’s us. Some people are there to absorb the rocking– that’s you. Together, WE ROCK SYNERGISTICALLY. Got that? We need you to rock! You help complete the circle of rocking, don’t you understand?
Frequently Asked Questions:
IS ROCKING APPROPRIATE AT ANY TIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT?YES IT IS. ARE YOU TOO OLD TO ROCK?NO YOU ARE NOT. IS PHILLY TOO FAR AWAY?NO IT IS NOT. IS SEEING HOT BREAKFAST RIGHT FOR ME? YOUR DOCTOR SAYS YES. MUST YOU TYPE IN ALL CAPS?IT IS NECESSARY TO SHOW OUR SERIOUSNESS.
So with that out of the way, let us tell you about our show coming up in Philly at The Head House on May 3rd!
DEETS: WHEN: Thursday, May 3rd, 2012. Music starts at 8pm; we play at 10pm. WHERE: The Head House. 122 Lombard Street in the South Street/Olde City section of Philadelphia. WHAT: Hot Breakfast! plus a bunch of other bands spanning multiple genres. COVER: $7. Cheap! PARKING: There’s street parking, and there’s a garage at 215 Lombard. So easy, it’s ridiculous. FOOD: American and Japanese food along with craft beer and a full bar with drink specials. NOMZ!
So, now you know. And knowing is half the battle. G.I. Jooooooooooe
That’s right, our Cool Little Brothers and Sisters. Your favorite acoustic dork-rock duo will be joining forces with Delaware’s funniest folk singer, Todd Chappelle, for one night of hilarirock. (That’s a word, right? We’re calling it a word.) Seriously, we are really excited to play with Todd Chappelle, one of our favorite artists to come from Delaware (take THAT, Cisco Houston!). You’ve certainly heard his opus “I’m From Delaware,” Todd’s ode to Hot Breakfast!* So please come on out to Extreme Pizza on Friday, April 27th for a great night.
After that, we’re gonna melt some faces in Philly as we play The Head House on Thursday, May 3rd. We go on at 10:00 (c’mon, it’s not that late) as we share the bill with The One Sun Lion Ra, Ashley J, Kristin Lucile, and Malik. Throw us in the mix and that’s about 17 different musical styles…something for everyone. Don’t miss it.
In recording news…we are ALMOST DONE, we swear. The CD is sounding great…stay tuned!
Extremely yours, Suburban Legend
* Um…we have been advised that Todd’s song, which can be heard here, is NOT actually about Hot Breakfast. At least…that’s the official story.
We’ve been told that once you hit 40 you start ordering chicken croquettes with Metamucil gravy off HoJo’s early-bird menu and then you’re in bed by 9:30pm after an episode of Matlock.
NOT US, BABY.
We’re so hardcore that we’re playing three (THREE!) shows in one day for you, just three short weeks after Matt had his gall bladder out.
THAT’S HARD-FREAKIN’-CORE.
Philadelphia Dramatists Center; purveyors of fine Philadelphia theater since… well… a while ago.
So lemme tell you about these shows!
SHOW THE FIRST:
We’ve been asked to be the first band ever to grace LOMA Coffee’s new music/performance space, so we’re kicking off an entire day of music. This means that we’re playing an early-morning show– that’s 8am. I wonder how bleary-eyed bankers will react to hearing Crazy Train as they make their way to the coffee counter for their first jolt of the day? One way to find out.
Jill would like to thank MAC Cosmetics in advance for creating foundation powerful enough to cover up her under-eye circles, since she is normally deep in full-on REM sleep at 8am.
WHERE: LOMA Coffee, 239 N. Market St. Wilmington, DE 19801. WHEN: 8:00am – 8:45am. (What the hell are we thinking?) HOW MUCH: No cover. Just grab a coffee. (Did you ever notice that Canadians say “a coffee” and Americans say “some coffee” or “a cup of coffee?” Discuss.)
SHOW THE SECOND:
Since 2011, we’ve been the house band for Philly’s Primary Stages, which is a quarterly two-night theater event where playwrights see their newly-penned short works performed at the Shubin Theater. It’s super-cool because over the course of two evenings, about 16 plays are staged with script in hand, and Hot Breakfast! gets to provide the interstitial music, as well as playing a fun half-hour set to a terrific crowd each night. We LOVE this gig!
As a thank you to Denise Shubin who owns the Shubin Theater, Philly’s Primary Stages is holding a fund raiser which showcases the best short plays of the last seven or so years of PPS. Because it’s a “best of” night, the actors will be off-book, and the shows will be spit-shined to a gleaming polish. There are two shows on the night of the 13th, and each performance features the same seven plays. And because it’s a fund-raiser, tickets are $20.
As usual, there will likely be beer, wine, and perhaps a bottle or two of something passed around (heh), as well as chips, snax, vienna sausages (it’s a Todd thing) and puddin’ packs. (We have “Jill gets 2 pudding packs” in our rider for this show, we shit you not. If Jill doesn’t get pudding, she trashes the place like fuckin’ Air Supply.)
WHERE: The Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St. (that’s 4th and Bainbridge), Philadelphia, PA 19147 WHEN: We start at 7pm sharp! The plays start at 7:30. HOW MUCH: It’s a fund raiser for the theater, so tickets are $20 and well worth it. Get yer tickets here: http://is.gd/Shubin_Tix MORE DETAILS:http://www.facebook.com/events/255436124551441/
SHOW THE THIRD:
Same exact gig as the previous one, except this show starts at 10pm and may feature slightly more awesomeness from the house band. (Awesomeness subject to availability; house band awesomeness may be substituted for yawning and crankypants at the discretion of the management.)
WHERE: The Shubin Theater, 407 Bainbridge St. (that’s 4th and Bainbridge), Philadelphia, PA 19147 WHEN: We start at 10pm sharp! The plays start at 10:30. HOW MUCH: It’s a fund raiser for the theater, so tickets are $20 and well worth it. Get yer tickets here: http://is.gd/Shubin_Tix There will likely be beer, wine, and perhaps a bottle or two of something passed around (heh), as well as chips, snax, vienna sausages (it’s a Todd thing) and puddin’ packs. (We have “Jill gets 2 pudding packs” in our rider for this show, we shit you not. If Jill doesn’t get pudding, she trashes the place like fuckin’ Air Supply.) MORE DETAILS:http://www.facebook.com/events/255436124551441/
All of this is happening on Friday the 13th. What could go wrong?
NOTHING; for the power of ROCK protects us.
